Anami Grace | Made Up Life

Y’all. It’s not loving to yourself to constantly expose yourself to terrifying images through news, social media, and through whatever medium you gain information.

You are choosing your own harm when you view them, when you worry about them, when you allow them into your body through the portal of your eyes.

Information does not equate safety.

Let me say that again. INFORMATION DOES NOT EQUATE SAFETY.

That’s one of the many reasons this revolution & liberation has to come from the inside out.

We have to learn how to have boundaries with ourselves. We have to hold ourselves as safe and we have to let go of all of these images that are being fed to us to create fear.

Why would that be? Why would anyone want someone else to be in a constant state of fear? Well, good news. Because of a series of events in my life I happen to know how our brains work around fear.

At the base of our brains sits our amygdala. It’s our little lizard brain stem, and it’s there to keep us safe by being the gateway to our higher thinking. I’ve named my amygdala, Lou. And Lou sorts through all of the information my eyeballs receive and he decides if he sends hormones into my body to freak us the fuck out. Or if it gets to go to our frontal cortex for deeper consideration.

Sometimes Lou is a real jerk though, and requires a little bit of tough love to make sure that the collective Anami Grace has everything she needs to hold safety.

Last year when a certain criminal won a big made-up contest, Lou was in hyper awareness mode and was going to fight some bitches to keep the collective Anami Grace safe.

But, the good news was that I’d helped Lou take an incredibly large chill pill by making sure that Anami Grace had a pathway to rest peacefully with her CPAP, we’d freed her from the grips of alcohol use, we’d put up boundaries about the way she was to be treated in relationships. And the collective Anami just sat back with Lou and watched everything that wasn’t at my core, collapse.

And piece by piece Lou and I established an understanding. I would stop showing him images of terrifying things that we couldn’t do anything about. Not really. And he’d allow me the privilege of being all autism and air signs in my head.

We also gave Lou the gift of connection with nature. And it turns out that Lou really loved fresh air and the connection we’d had with wild spaces since we were in childhood.

Slowly. I mean literally. We didn’t make any sudden movements around Lou. LOL. But slowly we realized that other people had to be other people. And we couldn’t save them. They could only save themselves. And it was like the dawn of understanding to deconstruct capitalism.

It is here that I have to share something really important that I learned about cults. I promise I will connect the dots. In childhood I lived where the Heaven’s Gate Cult caught the comet and rode themselves right out their human experience. And because of this every time I would hear something about this cult my ears would perk up.

I learned that when there is a mass exodus under a cult leader, it’s 1 intentional unaliving and the rest were homicides. Because the cult leader had deteriorated their sense of self for the sense of collective.

I’ve thought a lot about that as I’ve deconstructed the various cults I’ve had the displeasure of being thrown into.

And. Y’all. Capitalism is a cult.

It’s a distortion. It’s here to benefit a few. And to create a web of harm for everyone who is not chosen by the cult.

And it’s propagated by media, advertising, and scarcity.

The function being that we really have created a fear state so that we are stuck in our lizard survival brains, and never really given the opportunity to consider whether or not this is something we really even want or need.

THAT IS BY DESIGN. Y’all. When you’re constantly in fear, without access to your higher mind that stops you from even considering whether or not the power struggle you’re in is for your best interest. BECAUSE IT’S A CULT.

It then becomes imperative that we love ourselves enough to stop allowing these images into our minds.

THIS IS TRAUMA, fed to you to keep you small. Because when you give yourself the gift of yourself and evolve past the trauma you become an unstoppable force that you actually trust with your life.

As a millennial I always felt like the boomers were holding their breath, waiting for our magic to suddenly come online. It’s why we had curriculum to DARE us to say no to drugs. Which were probably a gateway to a higher state of being.

It’s why we were shown the images of 9/11 over and over again. It’s why we had the housing market of 2008. It’s why we were fed a constant state of terror. So we could never evolve into our magical selves. The ones who got free from their cult. The matrix of lies, skin deep beauty, and terror.

Oh, and fucking forget it if you were autistic. The trauma and fear of your needs never being met or validated was enough for a lifetime of hiding under your bed.

Oh. and Evangelicalism. Forgot about white Jesus for a second.

But. Y’ALL. We have to protect our minds. Because we never get to open the gift of our consciousness if we’re always afraid. We never get to learn, grow, evolve or think until we stop putting this bullshit in our brains.

The magic the boomers feared can only come online when we allow our minds to be transformed by loving our amygdalas enough to stop scaring them.

We have to clock our own addiction to fear and treat it with an equal and opposite addiction to loving ourselves out of it.

I also have a way to help you hold this boundary with yourself too. It’s a gift I’ve given myself over the past week as I am working through my instagram scrolling addiction. All you need is a 2 second disruption to change your relationship with ANYTHING in your world.

So. Go to whatever social media, whatever app you get information from. And. You’re going to hit the plus sign like you’re going to post.

That way every time you go to open it you control what you see right off the bat. Bonus points if it’s your cute face. And you’re going to say out loud “I am choosing to love myself by not giving myself the trauma of what I cannot really do anything about today.”

Oh, and make a plan for if something happens in front of you. Visualize it. And then every time a scary thought comes into your brain you’re going to say out loud, firmly: I have a plan for that. That is not happening in front of me. I choose to let it go because that’s not where my body is going.

And like everything worthwhile. It’s going to take time and practice. But. Love yourself by not freaking your poor amygdala out today. Okay?

Anyway. Love and light to you all. Take care! Bye.