Anami Grace | Made Up Life

My name is Anami Grace, and I made up my entire life through creating a rich and powerful internal world, and not even realizing that my external reality would have to bend in order to match my internal world.

I simply wanted a space for myself in this world, a beautiful retreat from everything else in the world, but it turns out that when you are so incredibly wealthy in all the ways that matter to you that it’s impossible to stay silent about the joy it creates in your life.

I’m going to tell you about it. In case you wanted to see if you could find some inspiration for yourself.

It started with rest. With the ability to sleep well and wake up feeling refreshed. And somewhere in a deep dark corner of my soul hope was shaken awake out of a deep sleep.

Hope was half awake when I nervously asked my doctor about naltrexone to help me break down the dopamine cycle in my brain to help me quit drinking. She showed up still exhausted from being an undiagnosed autistic human with sleep apnea, but asked for help anyway.

She was with me for my first week of medication as I could barely eat anything except salad and still maintained the habit of drinking daily. But every day she grew a little brighter.

And then we went to go see Matchbox 20 with Megan, suddenly all of the cosmos aligned and it was precisely where I needed to be. Megan kicked my ass and told me that I *had* to apply for my house. I did. And exactly 3 weeks later I was the first chosen to live here.

Coincidently it was the day that I also was ready to stop drinking. 15 months sober as of 2/4/2026. Fuck yeah.

Hope was an inferno in my life by this point and, looked around my life and was like. BITCH. Curiosity, get your ass in here. We got work to do.

Once curiosity was awake there was no going back. I’d found the beginning of my path to me.

The path to me meant letting go of a lot of things that weren’t meant for me. Especially relationships. Within 13 days of quitting drinking I had broken up with my boyfriend. And quickly on those heels my relationship with my best friend imploded too.

Losing the best friend was SO much harder than losing the boyfriend. But I’m glad both exited my life.

And all the while I just kept putting wonderful things in my heart, soul, mind, and spirit. I learned to be incredibly careful about what I was listening to, because every influence of the media, social media included is a powerful suggestion to choose a misaligned path of negativity, fear and hate if you let it.

By about mid January of 2025 I had questioned everything and completely deconstructed capitalism. My best friend made a brief stop back in my life trying to loop me back into some gossip we’d used to bond over, and I’d simply responded that wasn’t how I saw it all anymore, and we never spoke again.

Which was HARD because we worked together too.

But, the cost of being in a relationship with me is having hard conversations when necessary, and unfortunately that price was too high of a toll for her to pay to stay on the Anami Grace train.

By March I knew I needed to quit my job. But also knew I was absolute chicken shit about it. So I started my first alter in my bathroom. It had my most precious possession, my haunted fan, a tree branch from my neighbor’s tree, and my favorite rock. Over and over again I asked magic to meet me where my heart was afraid to go. I would look at my alter and say out loud: wealth, growth & stability.

I’ll have to tell you the story of my fan someday. Dottie, the previous owner, was the founder of Girls Inc, and when I got the fan at a second hand shop while on a trip to Santa Barbara I’d whispered to Dottie to haunt me successfully.

Dottie was my stair ghost at my old house and I would always catch her out of the corner of my eye watching over me.

But the wealth that dawned on me wasn’t financial wealth. At least not at first. It was the slowness of a regulated nervous system. It was in connection with nature, it was in connection to myself, and it was finding that success was presence with every moment as it came to me.

By July I was pretty sure that I was going to lose my job, because I’d made the wrong person uncomfortable with themselves by existing. And by bringing fun and professionalism into spaces where that wasn’t exactly welcome. But I’d also been invited to serve on the CASA board, and I was getting closer to closing on my house.

And every moment, hope and curiosity held me and embraced every shadow that came up. I’d started my content creation journey and every day I found a little of myself – who I was at the center. Reflected back in my beautiful face, which I really studied closely to ensure authenticity, kindness and love was pouring out of me.

But every day I indulged my own ridiculousness. I would always take the long way home to see the mountains, and every day my human body became more comfortable and happy.

I saw so many beautiful things. I ate so much wonderful food, I grew, changed, found my voice. I was baptized by the rain in an incredible summer storm that was such an experience. And as I danced in the rain, smiling, tears pouring down my face I knew I was ready for my external reality to shift.

And then. I closed on my house. Moved. Cleaned my rental, and found that my external world was now very much matching my beautiful internal world.

I simply needed safety, rest, hope and curiosity. And. I believe with my whole body, soul, spirit and universal essence that everyone can have what I have. And it all starts with filling your mind with beautiful things and meeting your needs with such devotion that you fall helplessly in love with yourself.

Everything is all made up anyway, might as well fuck around and fill your mind with all of the beauty you can see, smell, taste, feel, and sense. Might bring a whole new world to you.

Anyway, love and light to you all. Take care! Bye.