Anami Grace | Made Up Life

Have I talked to you before about the idea that the treatment for addiction is to find the equal and opposite addiction on the wheel of life. Haha. The addiction wheel.

Like. When I was drinking I was trying to slowly kill myself so that I wouldn’t have to constantly face the horror of being me. So in order to like. Stop drinking. I had to figure out that I was actually quite a fantastic human being and I really liked my own sober company.

But. Even that. Had a root cause in needing a good goddamn night’s sleep. I could never have been curious enough about my addiction to alcohol without first being able to rest my human body enough to finally function.

It was complicated and twisty. But drinking, in hindsight seems like the most logical choice that I had given the trauma to exhaustion ratio I’d been facing my whole damn life.

And then my people pleasing. I drank to mute the screaming in my head from all the things I couldn’t say for fear that it would cause a loss I couldn’t recover from. I drank to avoid the calling that felt so out of reach that I couldn’t even hope for.

But. Y’all. We have to first of all take ahhhhllllll of the stigma out about addiction. Because. Listen. Even a life of perfect harmony requires a little opportunity for growth. Right? And anything that is out of balance in life could be considered an addiction?

And addiction shows us something so fucking important about ourselves. It’s where we’re willing to give our power away to the other entities of this world.

And. People pleasing is an addiction. And the equal and opposite addiction is: LOVING YOURSELF SO MUCH THAT YOU HAVE SPACE TO EXIST ON THIS FLYING SPACE ROCK. Sorry for yelling. I like to speak with passion sometimes.

Do you know how to fall in love with yourself? I will tell you. But you must listen to me. LOL! She says playfully.

On an aside. That’s why I love content creation so much. Because. When you check out my TikTok @awkwardgrace13, you get to see so much of my ridiculousness and the exact voice I would have used to say that to you. And. That’s rad.

ANYWAY. Start by asking yourself what you want to eat today. Your body will respond and go out of your way to make sure you give it what it wants. Without thought to anything except your own motherfucking delight. And do whatever you can to give yourself something like that every day. And wait and see. Just you wait and see. How. Having a spine to protect. Will make you realize you have a spine to say what you need to say.

And. This will change your life. Harder. Faster. Stronger than anything else you’ve ever experienced. Because the better you take care of you. The better taken care of you’ll be. And guess what the best taken care of you version does. They fucking. LIVE.

And when you’re done with that. Report back. Lemme know how it goes. I’m so curious to find out.

Love and light to you all. Take care. Bye!