Anami Grace | Made Up Life

I was just sitting here with a heart full of love for my community. I built the framework of something incredible, inside of myself – and then used all of my magic to make it real in my world. And because I recognize this within myself I’m able to see it within my neighbors.

But, what I did was I fell in love with being my own biggest inconvenience. Like. I’m high maintenance. I’ve given you little glimpses of my ridiculousness over the past few weeks. But. You have no idea. I take extraordinary care of myself because it’s the best way to set myself up for success in the future. And because I fell in love with my own bougie ass. It gave me so much room to fall in love with the inconvenience of everyone else around me.

I became rich in my own indulgence. Over and over I said: whatever you need Anami Grace. I gotchu. So, last year…I would drive an hour out of my way to see how beautiful the mountains were that day. And, so that I could see my house being built. So, on my birthday there was a thunderstorm. And I’d already had the most incredible journey with the music peaking in the background, because – you make up a playlist for your birthday too, right?

And as I rounded the corner to my house, the sun broke free of the clouds – and a double rainbow appeared above my house. It was the best goddamn moment of my life. For the first time in my life I’d had multiple wonderful days in a row. And, I cried. Sobbed. In fact, because it was so incredibly painful that I hadn’t had this before. And so uncomfortably unfamiliar. Happiness was so uncomfy. Which. Is. Stupid.

I had to really learn how to hold happiness within myself, without worrying about when it would be gone. Like it could never come back if I let it go to feel another feeling. But, that was extraordinarily uncomfortable at first – and completely dysregulating.

But that was an incredible inconvenience to fall in love with. To hold and know that I will cut up a green onion for a little razzle-dazzle, and I will also go out of my way to add flavor to whatever I’m making.

One of my guides today told me that after this life people come from all over the galaxy to experience Anami Grace’s cooking. And I think that’s really cool.

And. Because I did that. I became wealthy in how loved I was. Y’all. I became wealthy in my own love by being the most ridiculously indulged version of myself. But not in the way of consumerism. I indulged every lesson. I treasured every feeling. I held presence in my body through two incredibly difficult years.

Which, created an epic abundance of love within me. That everyone could see, but few understood the journey of loving to be inconvenienced by my own existence. A particular adventure, especially when it’s not inherent from your lived experience.

And I saw so many beautiful things. I felt so deeply. I held my shadows like they were my first born. Which. Let’s be honest. They were. 😉 I cooked and created wonderful food. I did what I could for my kids. I simply just became abundant in me.

In so holding this expansion, I learned how much easier it was to hold space and care for my neighbors, and my community.

Do you want to know what the funnest part is though? That I truly did all of this by playing the game: what gets me closer? Every time I would come to a cross road, I would look around. Take a deep breath, and say: for the good of all and the harm to none. What gets me closer to a life I love?

And. That. Is how I made up my life.

Anyway. Love and light to you all. Take care. Bye!